Connections

My Grandfather died 2 days ago. For me it feels odd how little this news affects me. I found out he was ill a week ago and now he is dead. In that week he has been mentioned more than he has my entire life combined, which is what I feel sad about.

My other Grandad died nearly 5 years ago and it was so different. He was my Mum's dad and he was such a huge part of my life that his loss was felt for a long time. Even now I miss him and situations and objects trigger memories. Memories I will treasure and pass on to my children (if I have any).

I only have one vague memory of my Dad's dad because I only met him once. I was 15 and we were visiting my Grandma and we popped in to see him before we travelled home. We weren't there long and no real connection was made.

It's just sad to me that I will never know him, know what he liked, what made him laugh. I feel more emotion thinking about the death of my old cat than I do my own Grandfather and there's a wrongness to that that really troubles me.

The decisions we make every day determine whether we stay connected to people. We make choices about our lives that mean we have to give up some things. We pull some people close and let others drift away, but do we ever really think about what that means, about what we are giving up?

I know I didn't. Maybe I should start.

Busy-ness

So it's 2 days until my first craft fair and I am so busy getting ready. Because of illness and laziness I was miles behind at the beginning of the week. I have spent the week so far up to my neck in fabric making cute little baby clothes and foam cubes covered in fabric.

At the moment I feel optimistic about having enough stuff to sell, it'll be a little on the light side but enough to get me to the end of the day I think. It's a little nerve wracking though.

I have been making things with fabric ever since I can remember and I love the feeling of creating something totally unique, attractive and useful all at the same time. But this is different. I've never really tried to sell what I've made before. I have made things for friends and family before but they have to at least pretend to like the items.

I'm putting myself out there. If it goes well then it could be the start of something but it might also bomb. Scary. So here comes the shameless plug, I will be setting up stall in Cloisters Hall at St Andrews Hall in Norwich on Saturday 9:30-3:30.

Will try to post some pictures of my endeavors at some point in the next few days. Anyway I must get back to making things.