Sunday 25 July 2010

Wobble

I have no skill for certainty. It is something that has always eluded me, like a ghost of an idea skittering in the depths of my mind. Just when I think I know what I am about a distraction arrives to send me spinning in the opposite direction.

Of some things I am certain, for now, before the doubt sets in and I ask myself, if I got what I want would I really be happy? And then I start to doubt, doubt whether I'm up to it, whether I should save myself the embarrassment of defeat and shut myself away. Whether I am in fact happier as I am, in my cave by myself. Safe.

This is all pretty silly and I will press on regardless. Certain in my uncertainty, hoping that where I'm headed is better than where I've been. Hope is a funny and unexpected beast.

1 comment:

Moggie711 said...

Don't doubt yourself - or at least don't worry that everyone has a little doubt - just ignore it and go forth into the unknown. I have doubted so much, sometimes this has held me back but the most successful times is when I ignored it and carried on regardless. Whatever happens the next 12 months will give you a future, will give you more option but not take away the old ones. So go forth and love it.