I changed my life completely in the hope that my baggage might not follow me. Surprise, surprise it did. Only here I have none of the support I had back home. It's strange, I spent so many years dealing with the whole ME thing on my own and now I really don't know how I did it.
The problem is I'm struggling and it's really starting to worry me, but I can't really talk to anybody back home. This was the thing they worried about before I went and as soon as it is mentioned they will panic.
I am committed to this course of action and I will follow it through. I thought I'd be happier than this but I am probably more unhappy now. I keep telling myself this is temporary, that it is only a year.
But after that year I will still have the baggage. Every year my life gets smaller and I feel more unsatisfied.
1 comment:
Baggage is something we choose to pick up, and we choose to unload. Unpack that shit. And yes...everything is temporary. Although it sounds trite...this too shall pass. Your life is as small as you make it. Chances are, you just feel small...and that's okay. It makes for a big world. Your luggage is old. Let go of the handle. Try to find one good thing in every day. It's there. Focus your energy on that. Smile at it. Thank it. Chances are it will grow tomorrow. I'm glad you are committed. Be strong, be brave. I know you are.
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