I went to see Julie and Julia tonight. I wasn't expecting much. I viewed it as my indulgence, a fluff movie about cookery and I thought it's just what I needed. It was more than just a sickly sweet film about food. Something really struck a chord with me. The modern part of the story is about a woman who is stuck. She's a failed writer who is working a thankless desk job. In an attempt to give herself focus she decides to cook everything in a well known cookbook in a year and blog about it.
It got me thinking about blogs and life in general. I am no longer stuck, I have a plan which I'm following, overcoming each obstacle as it arrives. I am working towards a goal. I am no longer directionless. But am I happy?
I guess the answer is not really. I have the beginnings of an actual life again, I have plans that will make my life ok. Is it what I really want to be doing? Probably not, but who really does what they actually want? My plans push me into adulthood where dreams are shelved for more practical endeavors. It is a place where second choice is really not that bad. I try to get excited about my new adult life but I guess it alludes me. How I wish I could.
Because in the end second best should be good enough, some people don't even get that. They slave away at jobs they hate just to get by. Why should I be any different? Dreams are only dreams because they are ideals when in the end real life is about compromise.
And still I haven't actually told you what is going on with me in the real world. Instead I rattled on about the world in my head and never had to confirm in print words I'd rather bury in the sand as far from my head as possible.
5 comments:
I am glad you enjoyed the film - sounds like my type of thing. As for the choices you are making I truely agree that you are thinking too black and white - it is possible to have both - not easy but possible. If you continue to move forward into having a life but maintain your dreams then you can have both. I often wonder if fulfilling my dream will make me truely happy but I know I have to try (it would be nice to be slim also but hey, I can't have it all!!!) It is hard to keep your creativity alive, and I am scared that once you move away I will have no one to nag me into keeping writing but I also realise that at my age (rushing towards 50) the dream has never gone away and every time I sit and write I feel better. Just keep the faith and it will happen for us. Your work is really good and working with children will be just the thing to help you really understand how they tick (if that is really possible) and target the market for your work. (Just look for the positive in every negative).
Awww, I understand this. It was the moment in the movie that struck me most, when Julia said she couldn't wait to get out of bed everyday, she loved her life that much. I can't imagine that. I get up out of obligation to sit at the most boring job on the planet because it pays enough to get by.
And get your head out of the sand. I for one want to hear what's down there, want to know YOU!
The best piece of advice I ever read was, work out what it is you really love doing, then become good enough at doing it such that you can make money from it. Then you will always be happy, and you might even be happy and rich :)
Moggie - Thank you, I know I may be able to do both it just feels like the end of an era.
Wine and Words - The film was great. Occasionally I peek out at the surface, so watch this space.
Kim - welcome. I love you're blog. I'm working on the making money from what I love, but taking longer than I'd hoped. Mainly because of my own laziness I think!
Thanks
All our heads rattle with something or 'nuther.. lol.. keep on a keeping on.
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