One topic that keeps coming up around me lately is pregnancy, children and abortions. These seem to be recurring themes in my life for the last year. It’s got me thinking about my own views and whether they will ever be firmly fixed on these subjects.

The idea of abortion makes me realise that I would not be able to deal with the guilt of getting rid of an unborn child. I know that there are some situations where it is the best option but again I don’t think I could live with the guilt that I would place upon myself for having one. But I have never been one of those “pro-life” people who believe that anybody who has an abortion is going to hell either. I suppose I’ve always thought that the decision lies solely with the person who is pregnant. If they feel that they want an abortion I think it is their right to have one. I also think it is a very brave decision because as I have said I don’t think I could do it. My view on this has always been just because it is not right for me does not mean it is wrong for everybody else.

The reason why I have been thinking about this is because a friend of mine had an abortion earlier this year. I think it was a very difficult decision for her because under other circumstances she would have had the baby. She knew it was not the right time and so made the choice to have an abortion. I have been thinking about her lately mainly because I discovered a YouTube page belonging to someone I work with (EK) that was filled with “pro-life” propaganda. I was shocked by it as I had no idea she felt that way.

FF saw this website as well and was deeply hurt by the things that were on there. She had been friends with EK for quite a while and had spoken with her about her own experiences of abortion and felt that all of a sudden this woman was judging her. EK refused to take responsibility for the hurt she had caused or for the information she had posted on her sight. Surely if we put our opinions out into the world we should take responsibility for the reactions they cause?

Pregnancy and babies are also on my mind at the moment.

AW is pregnant at the moment. She had been talking about wanting another child for about six months before she became pregnant. I hate to think it about a friend but I think she got pregnant deliberately. She is single and was with a guy for a very short time around when she got pregnant. She joked a lot about just going out and getting pregnant. The guy she was with had no idea that is what she wanted and is now lumbered with 18 years of CSA payments he hadn’t bargained on. You could say that it’s his fault for not using a condom but even so the pregnancy was not an accident. Is that fair on him? Besides she already has one child who’s desperate for her attention and she doesn’t get it. I feel like I’m being harsh but I just don’t get it. Maybe I’m old fashioned but you don’t just have a baby because you want one without thinking about the father or whether it’s fair on the baby or your existing child do you? I can’t shake the thought that she’s being incredibly selfish.

More on this another time I guess.